4/6/26:  Stop Waiting: Why Women Need to Advocate for Themselves Sooner

January 27th I turned 40.

January 28th I had my first mammogram.  That same day, I found out it was abnormal.

February 18th I had an abnormal follow up scan.

On March 24th, my husband’s 45th birthday, I had a breast biopsy.

March 30th I heard the words I hoped for…sort of – “your biopsy did not show cancer.”  The next part was what kept us on the edge of our seats – “…They did find some somewhat abnormal cells…recommend referral to breast clinic.”

So, I don’t have cancer, but “abnormalities.”

Because I do not like to impose my problems on others, I kept the circle of people who knew what was happening very small – my husband and a couple close friends.  

A stressful two months of unknowns, but the unknowns weren’t the worst part. *Note, at the time of typing and posting this blog, there are still unknowns.  I have yet to meet with a specialist*

The worst part was wondering if I could’ve caught this sooner by self-advocating harder.

Cancer has impacted my mom’s side of the family.   1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.  

I have spent my life in and out of hospitals, for myself, and watching loved ones survive and die.  I was raised by a mom who was a nurse.  I worked in healthcare for 12 years.  

I understood my risk.

I began asking for mammograms in my early 30’s.  With my family history in mind, I asked multiple healthcare providers to order a mammogram prior to the suggested age – 40.  Nobody did.

I spent the first two months of my 40th year worrying.  Am I living through nothing more than a scare or am I going to spend the first part of my 40’s battling cancer?  I dwelled a lot on battling and what that would look like, for me and my family.  

But what if I had advocated harder?

What if I had said “to hell with it, I will pay out of pocket if insurance won’t cover it before I’m 40”?

Eventually, I had to tell myself what I tell anyone who comes at me with “what if”s. 

It doesn’t matter.  You can’t change the past, and you can’t control every outcome—but you can control how you show up. 

Here is what I decided while I waited and worried. 

First, worrying was normal and allowed, but I did not let worry control me.  

If I did not have cancer, I would count my blessings and be diligent about my routine screenings.

If I did have cancer, I would shed some tears, share the news with my family, and fight like hell. 

I didn’t really prepare myself for somewhere in between non-cancerous and cancerous.

Regardless of the outcome, January 28, 2026, I decided that I was going to give my daughters all the information they needed to fight fiercely for themselves in the future.  Here is the thing, if I don’t have cancer, 1 of the 7 women I know will.  If 1 of those 7 is one of my children, I want them to get screened early. 

But if I’m being honest, if 1 in 8 women are diagnosed with breast cancer – I’d rather it be me – not my daughters, my mother, or my friends. 

Advocacy is what most women struggle with in business and life—speaking up, setting boundaries, and asking for what they actually need.

Advocacy does not have to be disrespectful, disruptive, or detrimental to others. 

Advocacy should be self-education, self-awareness, and self-care.

Whether it is big or small, choose to be an advocate.  Be an advocate for yourself, for a cause, or for change. 

Most women don’t struggle with knowing what they need.  They struggle with speaking up and following through.  Don’t wait for a moment that forces you to advocate for yourself.

Start choosing it—every 👏🏼 single 👏🏼 day.

What or who are you going to advocate for?