11/17/25: How to Protect Your Time, Money, and Mental Health During the Holidays

Saying “no” can be hard, but during the holidays it can get harder to set boundaries and say “no” without guilt.  This week, we’ll explore why it is harder to keep those healthy boundaries during the holidays, and some great ways to keep your sanity and keep the peace.  

Some people are naturally people pleasers and find “no” to be difficult, no matter when a tough ask comes up.  Some people can say “no” 46 weeks out of the year, but lose their ability to be firm in their boundaries come the holiday season.  It is easy to let go of our healthy boundaries and give way to the traditions of our families and friends, regardless of our thoughts, emotions, or capacity to handle additional tasks.  Holiday stress tends to come in three areas:  financial, social and emotional, and time and logistics.  Let’s dive in!

First, let’s chat about the financial stresses.  Did you know…

• 58% of adults stress about having enough money during the holidays
• 50% of adults worry they will not have enough money for gifts
• 39% of adults are worried about affording a holiday meal

I definitely stress about those top two-we have two daughters who we don’t spoil but we definitely like to make the holidays special for.  Not to mention, travel can be expensive if that is something your family has to plan for.  I’m sure you can think of a few things that add financial stress to your life this time of year.  So how do you deal with it?

Two things I’m a big fan of are buying gifts throughout the year (spreads out the spending) and looking for sales…as long as they are actually sales.  For example, this year my daughter wanted a couple book sets.  I was able to grab them for 40-60% off on Prime Days.  Try to limit gift buying to your immediate family.  This is hard for me because I enjoy stretching gifts out to in-laws, parents, nieces and nephews, but it can make the holidays expense fast.  If you truly can’t help yourself, maybe buy a couple items for a local toy drive or donate to a local community meal-that is a great way to use your giving spirit.  

That one about holiday meals bothers me, because first, let’s focus on making sure everyone has a meal for the holidays…nobody should go hungry.  Secondly, if you are blessed enough to host or be invited to a meal, it does not need to be excessive.  The spirit of the season is about being with the ones you care about and I promise 20 years from now your kids will care about the moment, not the menu.  

I cannot emphasize this enough, if you cannot afford something, say NO!  Do not let the pressure or excitement of the season set you back financially for weeks or months to come.  

Let’s move on to the social and emotional stresses of the season. 

• 38% of adults feel stress of missing a loved one
• 30% report stress from extended family conflict and 15% from their children
• 64% report mental health conditions worsening over the holidays.

I feel this first one deeply.  We are coming up on the fourth Thanksgiving and Christmas without my mother-in-law and I still go into emotional spirals thinking about how she would’ve enjoyed the get togethers, watching the kids open gifts, or baking.  It overwhelms me with sadness to not have her there with us.  The thing I am not good at, which I would encourage you to do is, acknowledge that sadness and be open about it.  Have at least one person you can share those feelings with, because an emotional release may give you the relief you need to enjoy the holidays.  

Secondly, be willing to set clear boundaries to protect your well-being.  You likely feel like you need to say yes because so-and-so expects this and so-and-so wants this, but if you are not prepared to handle it and it is not going to be a make or break for your season…SAY NO!  This next one goes with what I just said – know yourself and seek additional help if you need it.  Maybe most Thanksgivings you are happy to host a big family get together, but this year you have added job stress, financial hardships, or experienced some sort of trauma that is making it difficult to push through.  Feel free to speak up and say you cannot handle the same workload you have before, whether it is passing it off completely or asking to split up the workload.  

This last one is inspired by my family members…don’t be afraid to separate yourself from the group.  There is no shame in putting yourself on a grown-up time out and recharging your battery.  The holiday season is LONG-set yourself up for a marathon, not a spring.  

The last one is a little less statistic based, but still important.  During the holidays, the lack of time is a significant stressor and many report that having guests reduces their sleep.  Here is where you have to be really CLEAR and FIRM in your boundaries!  

First, I am going to tell you that we all have the same 24 hours.  Holiday days are not longer than the rest of the year.  That means you don’t have a higher capacity to take on more…so don’t!  Welcome guests, whether for the day or weekend, who will give you freedom to keep your schedules.  It can be very stressful to feel like you have to alter your plans around your company, so set the expectations that you won’t.  

You will have to find a way to do this with kindness, but if you have that houseguest who is a menace to your (or your families) peace and sleep schedules, let them know they need to find other arrangements.  How you handle this will be very different depending on the relationship and why you are setting this boundary-I highly recommend ChatGPT for verbiage (no joke), and no matter what, make sure you and your family are on the same page and handle the situation with solidarity. 

A couple other random holiday stresses: concerns about diet/weight gain and increased alcohol consumption, and here is my best advice.  Enjoy everything in moderation and make a plan to get back on track after New Year’s.  If you feel committed to sticking to a diet or limiting alcohol intake, find an accountability partner and don’t be afraid to tell supportive people around you what your intentions are so they don’t unintentionally tempt you.

The holidays are meant to be happy, and you don’t have to sacrifice your happiness, or health, or wealth, for family and friends.  Spend some time now thinking about the financial, social and emotional, and time implications of the season.  Are there problems on the horizon?  Make a plan now to squash them! If you need help crafting that plan to maintain your sanity, don’t hesitate to reach out.  I can help you with the what to say 😉

 This is me and my family wishing you and your family a very happy, peaceful, and reduced stress holiday.

Don’t forget 💡 Enrollment in the Balance & Business Group Coaching Mastermind is OPEN and we only have 7 seats left!  If you pay in full in November, you get 10% off!  Click HERE for details!